Are there days when you feel like you are done with everything? I usually feel like I would like to teleport to South Coast, lie on the beach, sip on a screw driver without a care in the world. The reality looks like this, my munchkin number two would have to reduce her major attachment to mummy, with reason as she is ten months. My munchkin number one would require an explanation, with his recently learnt alphabets and numbers craze. My main man would wonder how I would have a holiday without him, especially during this season of his life. Not to mention the flight and accommodation bookings or the normal VIP Modern Coast seat. All this and I haven’t even thought of having my leave approved, shhhh don’t let my boss know this. I am probably looking at some time in 2018, with all these logistics. I haven’t even thought of summer clothes.
This is the year I join the third floor officially. Had you asked me how I felt about it last year, I would have probably said I will breeze through it. It’s just 30 after all. But what I have learnt through the on-going season of my life since October last year, is that life can change drastically. We have all the ambitions, plans and wonderful things to look forward to. So much so that we can sometimes want to rush the current to get to the future. Not to mean that I am not looking forward to that huge party I want it(Family and friends reading this, I love surprises). I am looking forward to it, but my perspective on it is different.
I want it to be with my two munchkins, just staring at them and realizing that second floor blessed me with them, a mind blowing amazing feeling, a huge adjustment that made me patient, responsible, warmer, authoritative. I am now able to understand the true meaning of love and hard work.
I want it to be with my family that has been so constant in my life. Words can’t describe how blessed I am. I pray every day that God gives them long life in this land of the living, for me to share even greater moments with them. I try to express my love as often as I can, my respect and appreciation.
I want it to be with my friends, the ones who have remained through the tides, the new ones I have acquired, the ones who have called, texted, looked for me and been patient enough to let me talk about what is going on when I am ready. The ones that have come and sat with me in silence. The ones who have brought food to hospital and sat there to ensure I ate. The ones who have paid a counsellor and allowed me the opportunity to off load my fears and anxieties to an amazing professional. Actually they started by convincing me that I needed it. The ones who allowed me back to work without asking questions, until I was ready to talk. The ones who prayed for me from a far because they didn’t know how to handle the situation. And many others scenarios I may not mention, I am extremely grateful.
I want it to be with my main man. The wonderful guy that God gave me. The one whose rib I am part of. Now that young man has gone through something completely life changing. He is still going through the recovery, with great progress I might add. Being there to seeing him going through it has been really tough but I have soldiered on by God’s grace. I am so proud of him for fighting for his life. I am happy to be the one chosen to be with him in this season. As much as I have never been a girl with extreme excitement for the white dress, aisles and flowers, this man and this season has made me open up to the idea someday. Just maybe, I might embrace this idea. Especially because it allows me to stand in front of God and man and commit to sharing the good and bad with my main man. To share the moment with all these beautiful day with the amazing people who saw us through this. I want to look at him fully back to his feet, in total good health and dance together. Oh dear, do you see how when a girl starts talking about it, it takes over? I digress.
I want it to be with my main man fully healed and recovered. That Dear God is my prayer.
I want it to be with God by my side as He has been even in the darkest, loneliest of moments. The great moments as well, given the greatest miracle of our lives and continues to direct our path.
I want cake, good food, laughter, peace, joy, good health and life in abundance.
And finally, I want to actually make it to the beach, but this time on a positive note and hopefully with the people I love the most. And it will come to pass. God’s timing is the best. I look forward.
I guess this means I am back to writing, I had missed it!